Little Book of Ben
by kitto27
Summary: a collection of different points of veiws on Ben's death.
1. Max

Disclaimer: I don't own DA.  
AN: I'm working on three stories at once, so forgive me if I don't update  
to often.  
I'm in a very Ben mood. I've read all these fic's about Ben, and know I  
have the urge to write one- or five.  
It's a poem, so excuse the stupid rhyming.  
But my next poem won't rhyme, but it'll be better (I hope).  
All the fics are on a different time scale, and I'm going to try to put  
them in order of time.  
So, it's been three months since Ben died, what does Max think?  
  
  
  
My brother Ben,  
We left when we nearly ten.  
We were at Manticore till then.  
You would write in blood, instead of a pen.  
You loved the Blue Lady,  
But I thought she was a little shady.  
You would pull out teeth,  
And be silent like Heath.  
And then you went bad,  
No longer innocent or glad.  
You would hurt and kill,  
Not take the pill.  
I had to make you leave,  
And left you for them to heave.  
I miss you,  
I had no clue,  
That it would hurt this much,  
So I pray and hope you have a crutch,  
Because I broke your knee,  
I hear your voice, and your plea.  
And I miss you.  
I love you brother Ben.  
  
  
  
AN2: LOL!! I can't stop laughing at the rhyme!!!  
But I'm going to do a darker version of this poem, and no, it won't rhyme!  
I have written all the chapters together, but I'm going to upload them  
separately.  
Oh yeah, people I'm at NWP too, so I'll have a couple fic's there too.  
  
: )  
Review please. 


	2. Zack

Disclaimer: I don't own DA, that guy and his friend do (or did).  
  
AN: OK, so two stories in a day is not that bad is it?? Three's better though.  
  
Well I hope it's three. Now you can see my different views on Ben's death, from various characters' points of views (does that make sense?)  
  
By the way, why couldn't Max carry him??  
  
She carried Brain, and I don't mean to be nasty, but he was a lot bigger then Ben. I thought it was nasty, the way she left him for Lydecker, poor Ben.  
  
I Love you Ben!!!  
  
N E Ways- yeah so um here's another story in the Ben series. I t might not be a poem, 'cos I'm getting bored of them.  
  
So, what does Zack think when he find's out that Ben is gone? (Did he ever find out anyway??)  
  
It's been about eight months since Ben's death, and when he goes to Max, he doesn't say a thing.  
  
Oh yeah, Lydecker told him, in a nasty fight. Zack didn't mention it because he was too busy worrying about the other to tell them that he knew.  
  
OK, I'll stop my ranting; here's my story-  
  
  
  
Zack's P.O.V-  
  
He's gone.  
  
493 is gone.  
  
I never thought that he would be the first to leave. The way he talked about the outside world, it was like he was normal, not a freak.  
  
But that's what he was, a freak. That's what we all are.  
  
We were supposed to keep cover, to keep safe.  
  
Damn you Ben!! Why didn't you keep cover?? You knew they would find you. You knew it was dangerous, but you carried on with that shit.  
  
Why didn't you listen to me?? I'm your CO dammit!  
  
You would never listen.  
  
And now you put us all in risk. Especially Max.  
  
Oh God Max!  
  
How is she going to cope? She loved you more than the rest of us.  
  
But then she always did.  
  
Ben!! Why did you have to be so cruel? Why did you have to leave us??  
  
I know I wasn't a great brother, but I cared about you, I cared about you all.  
  
I never told you that did I?  
  
Because feelings are our downfall.  
  
'Always remember soldier- never let your feelings get in the way of your mission.'  
  
Ben, the mission was to survive. But you got messed up.  
  
And I didn't help you. I was looking after everyone else.  
  
I didn't think that you would need it.  
  
But you did.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
I should have never have split us up.  
  
But you were lucky, in a way.  
  
You wouldn't have to go through all that crap again.  
  
You were a good soldier Ben.  
  
Don't forget that.  
  
  
  
AN2: So, how was that?? I think it's pretty good. But I didn't know how to keep Zack all soldiery, but like a brother too.  
  
I think I'll do an Alec version, in my little book of Ben.  
  
Hmm, a good title- 'Little book of Ben.' What do you guy's think??  
  
Review.  
  
I I O U 


	3. max

Disclaimer: I don't own DA.  
AN: Here is the darker version, of my poem.  
I still can't stop laughing at the first one's rhymes!!  
It's been a year since Ben died, and Max remembers.  
  
  
Forgive me brother Ben.  
I didn't mean to cause you pain.  
Or to let you go.  
But you wouldn't stop your dirty deeds.  
They were cruel, and disgusting,  
But you still wouldn't stop.  
I miss you, brother Ben.  
You were so sweet, and kind before.  
But then you changed,  
No longer dear Benjamin,  
But 493,  
The monster you so badly wanted to escape.  
I'm sorry brother Ben.  
I really am.  
I can still see the darkness in your eyes,  
As you towered upon me.  
I can still hear the crunch,  
As I broke you bone.  
I can still hear your voice,  
Telling me to let you go.  
I can still see the lifeless vessel,  
As I held you.  
I'm sorry brother Ben.  
I didn't want to.  
I miss you brother Ben.  
Why did you do those things brother Ben?  
I know you didn't mean to hurt those men.  
But you're not a Nomelie,  
You're a good soldier.  
And I know you're in the good place.  
Where no one gets punished.  
Where no one has to hurt people.  
Where we can live happily,  
And forever.  
I miss you, brother Ben.  
Forgive brother Ben.  
I love you brother Ben.  
  
  
  
AN2: I know it's not that dark or dreary as I said it would be, but hey, a  
girls gotta try!!  
OK, I got reviews telling me that Ben's designation is 493 not 494, I just  
got so used to writing about Alec, and 494 that I forgot, so now, I've  
changed it. So people, don't worry, I'll check my stories properly.  
So N E wayz, review : D 


	4. Deck

Disclaimer: I don't own DA.  
  
AN: OK, Lydecker is not Ben's brother, but I didn't want to make them all separate stories. It's much neater together.  
  
Remember, I am writing the chapters all in one go, but I'll have posted them separately, so I can leave you hanging for more. I think there'll be about six chapters, maybe more.  
  
It's a about a year and a half, so the DA episodes would have to be fairly spread out across a long period of time. And Alec is still in Manticore (in Psy Ops, for that thing to make sure he isn't schizophrenic.).  
  
OK, so here it is.  
  
  
  
Lydecker's P.O.V-  
  
I didn't think she would actually do it.  
  
452 is a strong soldier.  
  
I thought the real world would crack them all, but only 493 broke.  
  
I thought he had potential, I thought he was strong.  
  
He was best fighter out of them all.  
  
But his weakness was his emotions.  
  
But what can I say? I love my kids too.  
  
They thought I was evil, that I pushed them too hard.  
  
But if I didn't, then what would happen to them?  
  
Renfro would have taken them away, and do God-knows-what to them.  
  
She already took everyone else's.  
  
493, Ben as they called him, became weak outside.  
  
They shouldn't have escaped, then this wouldn't have happened to him.  
  
But they did. And nothing can change that.  
  
I love my kids. Every one of them.  
  
So I wouldn't have turned my back on them.  
  
But Ben, he was different.  
  
I should have seen this a long time ago, the way he would talk about the Blue Lady to his unit.  
  
I believed in her too.  
  
Our thoughts were just a little different.  
  
But she was an angel. The most divine woman ever, the saviour of man.  
  
493 loved her too.  
  
Ben let his love for her grow too far.  
  
He lost control, and now he's gone.  
  
The Blue Lady maybe the saviour of man, but she won't protect them.  
  
They aren't men, but soldiers.  
  
I see that now.  
  
But that doesn't mean I don't love them.  
  
I love you kids.  
  
Even you 493.  
  
Even you.  
  
  
  
AN2: I know it's a bit soppy, but I think that Lydecker has a heart somewhere.  
  
He says he love his kids, and I believe him- sort of.  
  
I can't think of anymore ideas, but I'll try.  
  
You guys can give me some ideas for more chapters.  
  
Review please.  
  
I I O U 


	5. Alec

Disclaimer: I don't own DA.  
  
An: Ok, this is Alec's thought on his dead twin/clone.  
  
It's just after Max told him that she out Ben to rest.  
  
  
  
Alec's P.O.V-  
  
I can't believe that Max killed him.  
  
I understand why she did it, but I'm still hurt.  
  
My brother, was taken away from me.  
  
I didn't know him, so I really don't have the right to blame Max for what she did.  
  
I didn't even know he existed until I was sent to Psy Ops. I wonder if he knew about me.  
  
Max told me about him, that he was always talking about the good place, and the Blue Lady.  
  
Why didn't the Blue Lady protect him?  
  
Why didn't she tell him to stop?  
  
He was my brother.  
  
And I didn't even see him.  
  
I regret what I said to Max about him the first time we met.  
  
' 


	6. the cries of the dead

Disclaimer: no no no  
  
AN: hey, new poem. I love this one. N e wayz- R+R!!  
  
  
  
The cries of the dead.  
  
The cries of the dead haunt me They plague me with their screams Their taunts and jeers They make me remember all that I have done All my sins All my woes 


End file.
